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I’m teaching the kids, or trying to anyway, the joy of reading using this great book:


It’s a good book with lots of colourful images and helps your kids learn to read by making them match letters to their corresponding picture. An example of this would be the letter ‘L’, which your child then has to match to a picture of a lion and a ladder. We progress through the book, and it’s all good. Till we come to this page:


Below each letter is a small box of text, indicating which items/animals you have to match the letters to. Like this:

IMG_7117This all seems fine and we look at the page facing, to start matching up the letters and images. Then I spot ‘M for Monkey’:

IMG_7118Now I don’t think that image does justice to how disturbing this monkey’s eyes are – and I’ve seen 28 Days Later – so allow me to zoom in a tad.

IMG_7119Have I led a sheltered life? Do monkeys like this exist? Are there jungles teeming with these shark-eyed horrors? Or had the illustrator for this book had a bad day at the zoo? Maybe there was an incident involving a monkey, the illustrator and some excrement, so he/she decided to get their own back by creating this monstrosity.

Just to ensure you fully appreciate what I’m talking about have another look…closer…

IMG_7120Look at the eyes, look at them…it’s like it’s saying ‘You know all those virus-spreading monkeys from all those films? Well I’m worse than them. I’ll bite you and smile while I’m doing it, and my black, black eyes will be the last thing you see as you spasm and twitch on the floor, foaming at the mouth, till you vomit your own lungs out’.

IMG_7121Probably best that you close your laptop/PC down after you’ve read this. Putting this on the Web may have inadvertently given it power, and it might crawl out of the screen and kill you in your sleep, a bit like The Ring.

It probably won’t  but, you know, better to be safe than sorry…