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Confinement, Corona Virus, Covid, Disease, France, French, funny, Humor, kids, Lockdown
Check your food levels in the pantry. Put all your plans to one side. Stock up on toilet rolls and pasta. Make sure you’ve got enough ink in the printer for the attestation forms. Buy some extra baggy pants to slob about in.
And most importantly – buy lots and lots and lots of alcohol.
Yes folks, the day that we dreaded, the day that we hoped and prayed would not come, has arrived. With all the inevitability of a clock striking midnight, France has gone into (almost) total lockdown again.
Who’s to blame? The young? The old? The BLM protesters? The illuminati? I don’t know, personally I think people are equally to blame for this situation. Because people cannot stop touching each other, and seeing each other, and breaking the rules. Because people are like that. We aren’t – despite what many people on social media would have you believe – sheep. So we can’t be herded and ordered about – EVEN WHEN IT’S IN OUR OWN BEST INTERESTS.
And we love to touch each other. Oh how we love to touch each other! It’s OK if I just nip over the road to drop this off with my friend, that’s not contagious. It’s OK if I just touch this parcel and accept it from this delivery man, it can’t spread like that. It’s OK if I wear a mask, meet a group of friends, take off my mask, exchange a kiss and then put the mask back on – the mask is back on, I’m safe now, see?
This whole situation, as I’ve watched it unfold from my small town in France, has very much reminded me of someone trying to stop a dam from bursting it’s banks. Once you got the first hole filled with your finger, another hole appears, so you fill that with you finger – then another hole appears and so on. Every plan that the government puts in place to stop it is immediately cancelled out by the actions of the many, many idiots in our neighbourhoods. The ones who don’t move out of your way, the ones who stand too close to you in the supermarket, the ones who laugh and refuse to wear a mask because ‘It’s all part of some big government plan’.
Governments – as a rule – can not find their arse in the dark with both hands and a torch (See Brexit), so quite how they would go about coordinating a global-pandemic is beyond me.
It’s like Ian Malcolm says in Jurassic Park ‘Life finds a way’. Yes, it does find a way. A way to fuck the world up with its stupidity – because we are our own worst enemy, and Corona’s best friend.
So that’s my rant over with, now it’s off for four weeks (at the minimum) of playing games, watching films, keeping my kids entertained, and trying to find something to paint that I didn’t already paint twice during the last lockdown.
But hey, there is a brightside to this: the kids are still able to go to school.
We have plenty of alcohol and toilet rolls in the house.
Mr Mum: The 'joy' of a stay-at-home dad 
I feel for you guys. We’ve just came out of 111 days of lockdown! Over here it’s worse as the kids were at home. So not only parents had to work from home they also had to supervise the kids with their remote learning.
Stock up on your plants and home renovation stuff. As too hard to go click and collect and home delivery costs a mint!
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It’s a nightmare with the kids at home too! We had it in the summer and – thank the Lord – we have a garden, so after the permitted hour outdoors (with our ‘permission slip’) we could let them run free in there. I really felt for people in apartments, trapped in there – with kids as well! We had the remote learning too, however not all kids/teachers participated, which has resulted in different levels of education and concentration across the school. We are living in interesting times, as the old curse goes!
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Yes we are! Over here we don’t need permission slips! They say 1-2 hours outdoor but no one really checks so in theory you can spend all day outdoor only catch is if your neighbour dob you in.
I was freely travelling around as I had my kids who are living with my ex, one was still a minor. I had a partner and also my elderly parents.
Even with lockdown there are ways around the system. As long as you don’t flout the rules being stupid. One guy told the cops he was bringing rice to his kids during curfew and had drugs in his car instead. Another said he was giving care to his diabetic friend and instead of jelly beans he had smokes.
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We live in quite a small town so we are not as free – basically the gendarmes know everyone’s faces, as well as what they do/where they live/who they live with (not helped by being the only Englishman in the town!) so basically if you don’t have your slip, you’re up shit creek if they catch you!
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That doesn’t help. I live in a big city.
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Nope. Sometimes knowing – and being known – by everybody is a blessing and a curse.
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Well, it’s comforting – I guess – to know that all the world’s idiots are not in the US. We still have some fools who refuse to wear masks, and breath down your neck in the store. I heard one TV commentator claim that once the election was over, the Corona would disappear – poof! One fellow called it a “shamdemic” and ignored all of the rules – until he threw a birthday party and ended up killing his father-in-law.
Anne Frank spent two years in hiding. She did not get to go outside and sit in the yard, take the dog for a walk, or get her hair cut. And how would WWII have turned out if folks in London had claimed “This is a free country, and I’ll turn on my lights if I bloody well please”? Get a grip, folks!
Maryland’s governor, Larry Hogan, gave a press conference about the new plans and finally said, “Just wear the damned mask”. It’s gone viral, and there are even masks with that slogan.
“Just wear the damned mask.”
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I blame the level of entitlement that seems to be infecting everywhere at the moment, especially the UK and America. People just feel like they can do what they want, with no repercussions. It’s a shame COVID doesn’t target these idiots, the world might just be better off without them.
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AMEN!
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