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‘You speak French badly’ she says to me.

‘I speak English better than you though’ I says to her.

‘NO!’ she says to me.

‘What does antidisestablishmentarianism mean?’ I says to her.

That shut her up.

I walked away from that exchange with a smile on my face, the clear victor, having put her in her place.

Knowing my five-year-old daughter though, she’ll probably go and look that word up. Bloody kids.