Come here kids, let me talk to you.
I’ve got some good news, and some bad news.
The good news is I’m going to meet one of my heroes, one of the icons of horror-films.
John Carpenter, the legend who directed Halloween.
The bad news?
Well, the tickets weren’t cheap so you won’t be getting any Christmas presents this year.
Or for your birthdays, as they are in December too.
Don’t cry, think of how happy daddy will be! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the master playing themes from his films.
He’s no spring chicken so you never know when, or if this will happen again.
Look at you son, you look sadder than Snake Plissken when he was told he’d been injected with poison in Escape From New York.
Whereas you daughter, you look angrier than Rowdy Roddy Piper in the bank scene in They Live.
You’re are all out of bubblegum – and I’m glad that you don’t have a shotgun.
You two should be happy, as happy as Garry was when he passed the blood test, and finally got off that couch he was tied to in The Thing.
Don’t you understand that there’ll be another Christmas, and many more birthdays, but maybe only one concert with John Carpenter?
Maybe only one chance to hear the sublime theme tune to Big Trouble In Little China echo around the Victoria Warehouse in Manchester?
Okay, okay, now you both look madder than Sam Neill was (or was he?) in In The Mouth Of Madness.
Daddy’s joking OK?
Don’t worry, you’ll get all your presents, daddy wouldn’t be selfish and deprive you of that.
Now kids, wipe away those tears and give me a group hug….
…..oh and by the way I had to sell your video games system to pay for the tickets son…