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I Displayed my utter ignorance of all things football-related last night, during the opening round of the European Football Championship.




As the can-can music blared, as the ladies started kicking their lovely legs, as the jets flew overhead with the red, white and blue tricolours, and as David Guetta started putting down the beats, I leaned to my French partner and said ‘Are France hosting it this time?’.




She stopped laughing about half an hour ago.